Hels0044
From NeverwinPoker WIKI
Nels0337, real name Steven Nelson, is a long time nwp member who joined on December 11, 2005. This gives him seniority over almost the entire population of nwp, but on his one and a half years on the site, he has been pwned perhaps harder than any other member ever. This is due mostly because of Mr. Nelson's willingness to post amazingly embarrassing facts about his life.
Hels is from Magog, Quebec, Canada. He claimed to be 21 in April of 2005. He went to the Punn and was at McGill, whatever the fuck that means.
The trouble began early for nels. Within two months of joining, he was telling the masses that he was not only a Canadian, but also worked for minimum wage and was in debt $1500 due to poker losses.
Things went downhill quickly from there, and by the end of March 2005, Hels was inappropriately posting homoerotic stories about black bear encounters in the "Ask Druff" forum:
[1] This happened when I was about 9 years old. I had seen dead bears come into the garage before and how massive they were. Average is about 600 lbs so it's quite the animal. Well at my camp I would typically have friends come out to stay with me for a weekend / week at a time. My had a cabin but it was quite small and only had 2 bedrooms, my parents had 1 and me and my sister had the other. When I had friends out though we would pitch a tent and sleep in it. It was in early May and we had gone out for the weekend and my friend Rob was with me and we were staying in a tent. We heard something in the shed that was in the garbage. Typically when something is in the garbage it's just racoons (which can be quite vicious when pissed off). The coons are a pest around the campsite as they do get in the garbage so we decided to get our slingshots (too young for guns) and try to shoot them. We had done this before and coons aren't that hard to outrun if they come after you so we weren't very afraid. Well, as we opened up the tent door and flashed our flashlights toward the shed. Well, there were no racoons there, just one big fucking black bear. I remember staring at it and my mouth dropped. I was staring at this huge beast of an animal. He/she looked at me for what seemed like an hour and all I could think about was all the stories I've heard about when bears wake up from hibernation and how they will eat anything and everything. We ended up zipping up the tent door again and just waited and waited and waited. We heard the bear going through the garbage ffor a while longer. Then it was silent for what sounded like an hour, but eventually we could hear breathing right outside of the tent. I swear I thought I was going to die at that moment, but as soon as the breathing started it stopped and the bear left. I don't think we left the tent for most of the day as we were both petrified out of minds. I know that no one got eaten or anything but this was damn scary, especially at such a young age. Seeing such a huge animal so close up really makes you respect thier size and power. nels was quickly flamed, primarily by Slim1988, and has been on the defensive ever since. Although many would have realized that they have unusually thin skin and quit posting personal information, Hels bravely forged ahead with some truly embarrassing tales. All the while he was pwning one of the original Rabscuttle stakes at the Stars .05/.10 limit tables.
During the next few months, Hels first expressed his unhappiness with his "girlfriend." In the meantime, he had been spotted playing short-stacked at 30/60 limit, an early sign of his self-destructive tendencies and lack of bankroll management. Around this time, he also hung out briefly with Chipcounter.
Ok, here's the situation.**
- I'm in the grocery store getting some frozen burritos (no joke, I'm getting drunk and I need food cuz my parents are out of town and I'm getting drunk). So I'm walking past the cashiers looking for the shortest one and this girl who works there walks by me and says, "I can take you here." I'm like "alright." I've never seen her before there and I already had 3 beer in me so I feel like talking to her. I won a free pepsi so I had a coupon for it and she didn't know what to do. I said just run it through cuz I don't want to make her job any more difficult and she looked new there and I really don't care about 2 dollars (I had won 200 at the casino the night before). So she says "that's really sweet of you." I'm like "I don't mean to be rude or anything but there is a piece of plastic from a bag on your butt." I have a tendency to say stuff like that extremely shyly which girls just eat up. She turns around and asks what side it's on and I say the left. We keep talking for a couple minutes and she asks "what are you doing tonight?" Without thinking anything of it I say, "I'm drinking then going to Locks." She's like, "I'm going out with a bunch of my friends too and probably going to be at Locks, maybe we can meet up later or something." "Ya for sure!" I say. So I'm happy as hell walking out and then I remember, I'm going out to Docks with my girlfriend tonight. So now I'm going to be at Docks with my girlfriend and meeting up with this other girl tonight..... I need ideas!!!!!!!
Hels created quite a stir when he first told us about his suicidal tendencies in the epic "confession" thread on July 29, 2005. This was the earliest hels thread to eventually make the Hall of Fame.
http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopict-3989.html
Well, I've been considering posting this for a long long time now. I don't really know what incentive I have for posting this other then utter humiliation but I'm hoping some others have some useful experience or knowledge to help me out.
To start with the basics I have always been a very very smart person. Good with money, good with people, good in school. I've never had problems with the law and had a typical childhood. I had always been extremely tight with money and constantly saved it. I rarely bought anything useless that was unnecessary. I bought a truck for 12 grand when I was 17 (yes I had over $15 000 when I was just 17) and since then my only large purchase was a 50 inch T.V. for $1300 2 years ago. Other then that I have been very good with my money and tried to limit my expenditures. Well, last September when I went back to university I had well over 10 grand in my bank account. When I got introduced to poker in the early part of November I had something like $8500 in my bank account. At Christmas time I was down to $3000 and in early January I was in debt around 2 grand. I told my parents what happened and promised and swore on my life that I would quit. They paid off my debts for me. I quit for about a week, but then I thought I could make it back from playing poker. In a month and a half I was in debt $2500 again. I told my parents and this time I was fucked. Everything that could be turned into money was taken away from me. All credit cards, my bank account everything. I got an allowance again, 90 bucks a week to cover all my expenses. This meant I had no money for practically anything. I started going to counselling, but my counsellor was a douchebag. I made it through the school year and came home and was finally allowed to get my bank account back as I hadn't played for over 2 months. I felt good about myself and thought that I was cured.
Around May 20th my parents were out of town and I got the urge to play again. I was hoping that I wouldn't make the same mistakes this time. I was playing the best poker of my life and was sticking within my limits playing with 300 big bets minimum at whichever limits. I was running up a roll like no other, I started at $100 and played .50/1. After a day of non-stop playing I had over $600 and was at 1/2. I was up to 5 grand and started playing the 5/10. I went up to $6500 and was unfuckingstoppable, I had never played so well in my life. I wasn't heebing up a roll with improper management like I had done in the past. I was actually playing how I should. Then I started to run a little bad. I lost a grand at the 5/10 so I was at $5500. I thought about cashing out 5 grand and starting over, but I just couldn't get over the fact that I lost $1000. I decided to play 10/20 to make back the $1000. I went down to $4000, so I decided to play 30/60 and I got raped and was broke. My account is at 0 and I want to kill myself at this point. But wait, I have neteller instacash, so bam 900 bucks into my account. I jump back into 30/60 with hopes of running it up huge. 1 hour later and that's gone. I'm broke again, fucked out my mind.
My parents have access to my bank account now and they saw the attempts of neteller trying to take the 900 from my account and I get banged with nsf fees. Once again I am in shit. I start my summer job and start paying off the debts. Once again my mom calls addiction services and I am at counselling. I have been going since May and my counsellor is awesome. She's told me to stay away from poker all together, which is probably the best advice anyone can give me. However, I am a winning player at the casino, but I would always lose it all in blackjack or 3 card poker waiting to get an open seat at the tables. Here is my biggest dilemna. I am doomed to play online poker? I mean, I have a problem when I play, and that is I can't stop. Now, I have neteller paid off and have put in an eft for $100 bucks. I'm really worried about myself and feel like I could relapse again. I really don't think I can take this but I can't admit it to my parents that I don't think I can be trusted alone at the computer. I can't tell my gf cuz she's on the verge of dumping me after 2 years if this were to happen again. I've tried uninstalling all the poker sites, deleting neteller pwords, and blocking neteller from my computer. I've tried deleting neteller all together. I feel trapped and definitely need help before I fuck up again. I'm signing off for the night fairly shortly but I am just fucking worried out my mind right now. I know I am the only one who can stop myself but don't feel I can.''
At that time, nwp was a kindler and gentler place, and many members urged hels to seek help and stop gambling. Those who flamed him for his idiocy were quickly flamed themselves, and the community banded together in support of young Mr. Helson. It wasn't until later that we would realize what an attention whore and degenerate he was.
Only weeks later, hels was posting about his massive calves, and once again opening himself up for some serious pwnage.
Ok, here's the situation.
I woke up last night to the worst calf charliehorse of all time. I may have the largest calves any of you have ever seen in your life. I had to referee 3 soccer games today and damn am I hurting. Tomorrow I have 5 games to ref as well, I have a practice with both my U13 Girls and U14 Boys soccer teams tomorrow. I also play Monday night and have an 8 hour day to work on Monday. I can barely walk and I have to get xrays on my leg as I probably have a fracture. 2 week gigantic swelling and bruise. Fuck me, I hate this shit.
This time, felon pounced immediately, and unleashed one of his sharpest outbursts ever. Hels would never recover. By this time, he had lost nwp's respect because of his continued degenerosity, and most of the forum viewed him as a less successful and whinier version of neverheeb. There were few if any members willing to try bailing him out.
In September of 2005, hels was still depositing, but he finally had a plan:
Ok, a couple days back I said that I was making my last deposit before school. When it's gone it's gone and I'm not putting anymore in. I started playing last night with $150 but before that I wrote myself a list of guidelines / motivational stuff. Here's what I wrote:
-Remember how it feels to be broke and have nothing! -Poker will be here today, tomorrow and forever. I don't need a big score today. -GRIND -Ravage the 2/4 game $10 / hour is all it takes -Losing days are going to happen - DON'T TILT -Stay within your bankroll -BANKROLL MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!!! -50 pushups for thinking about jumping limits -Don't chase your losses -Don't go broke -How good does it feel to come and have money the next day. -Why risk your entire roll on luck and variance when you have a steady flow already coming in. -2 bb / 100 hands =$32 / hour four tabling - DO IT -The only winner hu is rake -This is my last deposit -If I'm tired - STOP - the tables will be going tomorrow -There is no rush -Patience -Pick the best spots -Don't force the pot -Confidence not Cockiness
Ok, I know that I don't have a b-roll for 2/4 but I just can't play 1/2. I'm definitely not 4 tabling yet, until I have at least 500 bb. I'm just playing 1 or 2 tables of 2/4 on party. So far I'm up 50 bucks in 3 hours. I haven't even felt like jumping limits yet even though I've taken some pretty bad beats. Here's to hoping that I don't fuck up and that this will be last deposit ever!!!
That plan lasted about a day, until Keith got bit by a chipmunk. Perhaps it was rabies that caused his subsequent meltdown? http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopict-5900.html I have a heart for all living animals. Even though this was just a chipmunk and I hunt large game such as bears, moose, deer etc. I get pissed off when I see animals needlessly die (I eat everything I hunt and don't waste anything). My cat has his own food and I just have a real soft spot in my heart for something that is getting pwned by a bigger animal. I ran outside and grabbed the first thing I could to put it in, i.e. a pail. I tried to get it away from my cat and in the process the chipmunk bit me. I understand why it did that. I have all my tetanus and shots like that so I'm not too worried. Now I got another animal to take care of....lol
[quote="hels0044"]LOL....kk, you're right, but I'm just trying to get my point across that most people would not put their pic up on a public site for the fact that they lack confidence. Myself, if I had a reason to post my pic, I could seriously could care less, most others though, would not do it.[/quote]
Speaking of girls that love to give head I went out with one for a year. She was terrified of getting pregnant and found sex to be "dirty" and unpure or some shit. The cool thing was was that she loved giving head... she just couldn't do it enough. She would be like "lets see how many times I can get you off in one night. This would continue until it really wasn't enjoyable for me to get it anymore. The girl was amazing at it. Unfortunately I went to university, where she followed me and cheated on her with a hotter broad. I told her and we broke up. Thankfully for me she was still in love with me and thought she could get me back. Fuck were my friends jealous when I had a bj giving machine at my calling whenever I wanted. It was hilarious when I would tell someone, they wouldn't believe me. I would be like watch this... I'd msg her on msn and be like "kelly, you want to come over?" and she would be like why? And I would just go, I dunno to hang out and do stuff." She would be like "stuff like what?" This was just to tease me. Then I would be like... "fool around and you can give me head." That was that. 5 minutes later she would be over and I was more then happy. Too bad, she got a new bf the next year and I didn't have my bj lover no more....http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopicp-69762-.html#69762
